First off, I would like to tell you a few things about what I think about you. I personally think you are a fucking piece of shit, depression. You suck, you make it hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. You make me sad (obviously) like not a normal kind of sad, the hopeless kind of sad. You made me slip in school thinking everything is pointless, my grades don’t matter, friendships don’t matter, nothing matters to you. You made me believe doing drugs would get rid of you but it only made you worse. You made me into a totally different person. I USED TO LOVE, now all I can think about is dying inside. I see everyone smiling and laughing, I want to smile and laugh but I fucking can’t I have to force it out. I want this dark wall to be lifted. Those two times I went into the hospital almost dying you really pushed me to the edge those days, funny thing is I’m still alive, depression. Jokes on you. You put me through hell and back, at first not even treatment helped me but I’m getting better now. So depression, to conclude this, I would just like to say you will not win this and you never will.
Sober or drunk, it’s always you."
mranthonyyoung asked: Hey are u on ig?
I’m having a dark day, I can’t take it anymore. I wish people knew, they don’t have the slightest clue what is going on in my head. I didn’t do it. I don’t even know what i’m saying anymore, I am the most selfish person I know, I have so many people that love me and I push them away. I’m ashamed of myself, I feel like I’m a piece of shit of society, Its been 6 months since I’ve been in the hospital and I contemplate everyday why I didn’t fully follow through with it, I was so close. When I was smoking my cigarette on the back porch, looking at the snow falling and as each snowflake fell on me, I realized how beautiful the design of each flake, not one is alike. It gave me hope for the time being, this past year has been so fucked up. I want to quit everything and just start a new life, my life is the definition of a lie. There is still hope, I know God has a plan for me, even if it is not as the one I planned.